Over 500 Unparalleled Pro-Quality Fart Sound Clips

Are you tired of fake, unrealistic fart samples? Are you looking for the perfect, most convincing sound clips for your project? Or are you just looking for some high-quality farts to blast on the way to work?

Maybe you've already looked for fart sound effects...with disappointing results. There are some decent collections out there, but they're small and have a very limited scope. That's why I personally made this collection of over 500 absolutely real farts.

My Story

Whenever I see a fart on TV or on the Internet, I often hear poorly made samples that are either inappropriate for the action (too long, too raucous, etc.) or downright bad (i.e., THEY SOUND FAKE). This is pretty disappointing, especially with all the recording experience and digital equipment we have at our disposal. So what do I do about it?

I make my own sample library.

The Dr. Kolonowski Collection

No matter what your background or motivation is,The Dr. Kolonowski Collection meets all your fart sound effect needs. Every clip is royalty-free. You don't have to worry about licensing!

Imagine having over 500 (561 to be exact) 24-Bit 48-kHZ WAV files, each one a masterpiece unto itself, at your disposal. Recorded and mixed on cutting-edge equipment (read, "world-class microphones"), this collection is simply the best and most complete.

What's in the Collection?

You'll find exactly what you want--when you want it.

Every type of sound you're looking for is right there, organized into logical directories, from nearly inaudible squeaks to gut-busting chair bombs. And there's an extensive toilet section, too! Don't forget that every sound is an authentic, unaltered fart.

Furthermore, you have complete control over the files. If you want to mark favorites, rename the files, or even move the files to other folders, that's your prerogative. The system is completely flexible!

This is what you'll get in the Dr. Kolonowski Collection:

• Short Farts, < 1 Second (161)
• Medium Farts, 1-3 Seconds (109)
• Long Farts, > 3 Seconds (34)
• Multiple Farts (8)
• Inhalations (113)
• Special Techniques (2)
• Toilet (48)
• Wet Toilet (77)
• Other Toilet (2)
• Outtakes (2)

Included in your purchase is a lifetime of updates (additional sound clips as I expand the library), the 90-day No-Risk Satisfaction Guarantee, and a lifetime license. These samples are royalty-free, and you'll never have to pay again to use them.

But I Want to Try It out Before I Buy It.

And I want you to! But there's not really enough time for you to sample every sound clip in the library. So what I did is I put together a demo of EVERY SINGLE FART in the library all in one demo mp3. It's a pretty good laugh, and I know you'll like what you hear. Check it out!

What Do You Say?

Go ahead and give it a try for 90 days RISK-FREE. If you decide that the collection is not for you, I'll refund your money. Simple as that.

Other sound effects websites will charge you over $1.00 per sound (That's how much I pay for a full song on iTunes!), which would make this library worth well over $500. But I'm offering you the complete collection of over 500 world-class fart sound clips for under $30. That means you're paying less than 6 cents per sound clip! On top of that, you don't pay any licensing fees or royalties. Once you've got it, it's all yours for commercial or personal use.

These aren't your granddaddy's vinyl records, either. Take your pick of noise-free, 128-Kbps mp3s OR 24-bit, 48 kHz WAV files. "Pristine" is the word that will come to mind when you hear them.

Don't Be That Guy. He uses crappy fart sound clips for his productions and will probably get fired.